Let’s turn to psychology and consider some aspects of it, known to any stylist-image maker, but for some reason ignored by Megan.
So, did Markle have a chance to become a national favorite? Of course he was! To do that, she had to do exactly the opposite of what she was doing.
Consider the background. Meghan was marrying one of the most beloved members of the Royal family. She was from the people, and not just from the people, she, as a representative of the mixed race, was in the trend. Plus we all remember how well it was initially received by both the Queen and ordinary Britons. I. e. chances to become ” the people’s Princess” were quite good, and it did not cause such unambiguous negative.
The effect of first impressions
Remember the famous words of Coco Chanel: “you will not have a second chance to make a first impression”? They are 100% true. The first impression is one of the strongest, and sometimes it takes years to change it. And Megan showed up… not very well. Despite the General positive attitude, the tabloids immediately noted her slovenliness, ignorance of Protocol, inappropriate behavior. Megan had a lot of punctures, but at this stage she was still forgiven a lot. Much harder it had to later.
Conclusion: pay attention to the first impression, the first meeting, the first presentation of yourself. Changing the first impression can be difficult, though possible.
The effect of “its”
It just so happens that the best man refers to “their”. Familiar and native to us seems beautiful and correct. Distrust of the stranger and strangers registered in the subconscious in the Paleolithic and great helped our ancestors to survive. You can’t get rid of it that easily.
Then Markle got into a difficult situation – she was a “stranger.” If she had a good image maker, he would probably advise her to become as ” English” as possible: to emphasize love for Britain and respect for its traditions, to praise English cuisine, to switch to English clothing brands, that is, to show maximum respect for the subjects and try to understand their mentality. And she would have been accepted. Not immediately, Yes, but adopted.
However, Megan showed every step: “I’m not from your circle!”. She continued to behave like an American in America, not even giving herself the trouble to mimic the British in any way, to understand English culture and values. She spoke words that hurt ordinary Britons. She wasn’t doing what was expected of her.
That is why Meghan will never be “the second Diana, ” no matter what the Newspapers say, and no matter how much MS Markle herself tries to press it, constantly comparing “their difficult destinies” and adopting the gestures and manners of the deceased Princess. Diana was her own, British, beloved, perfectly aware of the context and expectations of her subjects
Conclusion: try to become clear, familiar. Important! Not overdo. Excessive effort repels, serves as a marker of uncertainty and insincerity.
Effect of ” stereotypes”
Stereotypes rule the world. After all, in fact, our brain is quite lazy and tends to put everything in an already existing framework. ” Interrupt ” stereotypes is quite difficult, and if you can not fit into them at least conditionally, you will begin to cause or dull irritation, or you just … forget.
As I have already said, our brain tries to type everything and ” put it on a certain shelf” in order to quickly get information from it if necessary. Therefore, if you really do not fit into any stereotype, you “put” on the shelf ” other stuff” and from there do not get.
It is difficult to fight stereotypes – it is easier to put them to your service. It is no accident that business people, singers, artists attach so much importance to image, recognition and, let’s say, “stereotyping” (for Example, Monica Bellucci – “fatal beauty”, Jennifer aniston – ” my girl”, etc.).
It is also important for brands, corporations, and in General serves as one of the tools of image creation.
From the representatives of the monarchy is also waiting for a certain behavior. Compliance with the Protocol. Dignities. However, Meghan did not try to fit into even the most extended stereotype of how a “real Princess”should look and behave. And here comes into force 4 th effect-context.
Conclusion: if you want to be remembered, try to fit into stereotypes. For example, walk in certain clothes (at work, the dress code is entered for a reason), add to the image of the characteristic accessories, watch the behavior.
The effect of “context”
Do you remember such expressions “” the king is played by the retinue” or “tell Me who your friend is, and I will tell you who you are”? All these are echoes of the same phenomenon-the environment automatically transfers part of its “halo”to us.
We always judge a person not only by his appearance, but also by his environment, context, situation. Here, for example, is a rustic and a little slovenly man. In itself, he does not make a very positive impression, but if we find him in a circle of prominent and respected people who will accept him on an equal footing, then our perception of this person will immediately improve.
And Vice versa, when we stand out sharply against the background of the environment. Sometimes it’s good for us (Yes, I’m talking about that, already stuffed with the example of a pretty girl and ugly girlfriends), and sometimes not – everyone around in evening dresses and speak French, and someone in a stretched, crumpled sweater and at point blank range does not distinguish a salad fork from a fish fork.
Meghan chose to stay in the “Hollywood star ” field rather than move into the “British Princess”field. After all, if Markle were in Her usual place-in the place of an American actress, her behavior would not cause a thousandth of the interest and discussion, because it would be normal. For the movie star.
I even accept the fact that Megan herself is in shock from what is happening. She continued to behave as before, in a familiar manner, and instead of the expected applause received a ton of negativity. Not understanding (Where, at all, wears its image maker? It is his task to explain, to show), and that is not so?
And it’s simple: now the context of Meghan is a Prim and ancient British monarchy, not a cheerful Hollywood hangout. Now the behavior of the former actress falls out of the context of the environment, does not meet the expected stereotypes and even more – is opposed to them. And it is perceived not as a “fresh stream” and” new look”, but looks like a sloppy stain on a white starched tablecloth: inappropriate and annoying.
Megan, in General, with the context with no luck. On the one hand – her toxic relatives, which carries a negative halo on her (who is right relatives or Megan is not important-the background itself is important. There is a saying “whether it stole, whether at it have stolen”. showing that no matter what, but you’re implicated in “dirty story”), with other relatives of her husband, she does not fit (or not fit) and the contrast which does not look very.
At one point, Megan tried to find an environment among Hollywood stars, but it turned out somehow unnatural. In the “big League” she never entered, and the obsessive attention to some characters – the same Serena Williams and others, can be regarded by some as ingratiating, which is absolutely no good.
All this, plus a number of factors (we’ll talk about them in the next article), and created a certain negative reputation of Megan. And now any its step is perceived with distrust, and in any deed is sought catch.
Conclusion: context, context, and context again. Style is, first of all, relevance, getting into the situation and context. Remember, people around you automatically project on you part of their “halo”, part of their reputation. A strong fallout from the context threatens to fail, but also try hard to “become your own” is also not worth it-get the opposite effect.
And we can only wish Megan luck. She would need it.
To begin with, a short reference. The first this phenomenon in 1972 described Russian scientist-psychologist mainstream A. Sherkovin. He noted that not always the impact of the audience on the information and the event coincides with the planned, and there are a number of reasons (below we will consider some of them on the example of Megan). Almost simultaneously with his Russian counterpart, British sociologist Stuart Hall developed a theory of audience perception of media messages, which in many respects echoed with the “boomerang effect” Sherkovin.
“Boomerang effect” describes those cases when the audience begins to react to you not as you expected. You wanted to please, and you are beginning to hate. You wanted to pity, and you are ridiculed, etc. does not resemble anything?
Why is this happening? Most often-a banal miscalculation and incorrect placement of accents (although Hall said that 100 % calculate the reaction will not work). If we consider the example of Megan, then here is a recent case.
Markle, almost crying and with her hands in her pockets, complained about the hardships of Royal life and the complexities of Palace existence. The fact that no one understands her, the callousness of her husband’s family. (And this after, as she herself defiantly refused to go to them on holidays with child, after, as violated all norms and rules, after, as Harry called large family “frogs” (I it comes on place William offended)). Yes, a lot more, because the hope was the pity of the viewer. Only Megan had done it in one of the poorest countries in the world.
Naturally, people did not believe. There was no trust in the source of the information – Megan. And trust did not become because of the submission of conflicting information, and simply put-the discrepancy of words and deeds. Somehow it was difficult for the British to combine in the minds of private jets with the struggle for the environment and an unhappy existence with a chic wardrobe and Royal content.
Conclusion: your words should not diverge from the case, and you should not receive conflicting information. If today you love cakes, and tomorrow you hate everything sweet, then you will not be trusted.
Second, I think Megan overdid it.
There is such a phenomenon – the more we try to please someone, the less we love and appreciate. This is also understandable, because if he tries so hard to please, then it means nothing, right?
Constantly in love with the look Harry was moved by the fans in the first few months, then began to surprise, then to irritate. Meghan was so good at portraying the” good sweet girl ” next to Harry that she was disbelieved. After all, if so ingratiates, then nothing is worth it. After all if so clings, means itself nor on that not is capable. It’s pure psychology.
I can’t say for sure if Megan is acting or if she is really that crazy about her husband, but this kind of behavior is definitely not good for her.
Conclusion: do not try to become perfect, too beautiful, kind and sweet. Don’t try to please everyone. Remember the sense of dignity, do not Crouch and do not look “look a puppy”.
And last, Kate.
Megan shouldn’t have gotten involved in an arms race. IMHO. The “boomerang effect” is insidious. It happens that the opponent we want to beat and overthrow, as a result of our criticism and “overthrow” gets extra points. It just so happened that Megan, willingly or unwittingly, contrasted herself with Kate as more fashionable, less formal, folk. Kate was smarter and went into the shadows for a while, giving Markle time to prove himself.
And the more Megan was ” better than Kate,” the more comparisons were not in her favor. The more expensive and flamboyant Megan’s outfits were, the more they spoke of Kate’s modesty and taste. The more Sussex tried to prove herself in the field of charity and diplomacy, the more talked about the mind and self-esteem of the future Queen. The more Meghan publicized herself, the more the Duchess of Cambridge’s restraint and propriety was talked about. The wife of Prince Harry with his own hands added points of attractiveness to the “rival”, and in the end ,the” battlefield ” remained for Middleton.
Conclusion: do not get involved “in the battle” if you do not calculate everything. And get involved, remember-luck and sympathy will not necessarily be on your side, even if you are right. Do not criticize unreasonably, do not throw accusations and if possible do not get into scandals.